Body image

What is body image? AND why the hell do I care about what I look like?  Is it just the girl in me that over analyzes every photo, every angle of my outfit before I leave the house?  Is it just human nature to compare ones self to every one else out there?

Again I look to Wikipedia for an accurate description of the term body image:

Body image refers to a person’s perception of the aesthetics and sexual attractiveness of their own body. Human society has at all times placed great value on beauty of the human body, but a person’s perception of their own body may not correspond to society’s standards.

I am not sure that I have seen a photo of myself since college that I didn’t over analyze what I looked like in.  But why?  I probably did the same thing in highschool, but let’s face it that was just teenage stupidity and insecurities.  I was skinny in highschool.  I never weighed a pound over 115.  I started gaining weight in the last few years of college, but how couldn’t I?  I wasn’t exercising.  I was drinking beer.  I was eating fast food regularly.  There was nothing healthy about my early twenties.  I think I really realized how much I had let my health go when I saw a photo of myself and there it was staring back at me….a double chin and love handles.  YUCK!

Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough to change my habits.   Sure, I joined a gym, but never went.  (I don’t think going 1-2 times a month counts.) I ate more veggies, but smothered them in cheese.  I drank “Lite” beer.  I quit drinking Mountain Dew and started drinking Diet Dew.  (These were the pre-coffee years.  I needed to get my caffeine somewhere and still hadn’t discovered the most wonderful and pure caffeinated drink, coffee.)

It took a long time, but here I am now.  I would never go back.  I hate veggies with cheese.  I will only drink a Diet Mountain Dew out of desperation in the middle of a 12 hour night shift if coffee isn’t cutting it anymore.  I do go to the gym, regularly. (Granted I only go regularly from November thru April,  because after that workouts are meant to be outside as much as possible.)  BUT here I am still over analyzing every photo of myself.  The first thing I see is the “muffin top” —-DOUBLE YUCK!  Then I still see a lingering double chin… flabby arms.  I digress.

I know that I am stronger, physically and mentally.  I know there has been a transformation.  I wish I could just accept how far I have come.  I wish I could put a picture from 2 years ago next to one now and say “Holy crap, you look awesome!”  (Seriously, I would never say that about myself, but you know what I mean.)  I do not need flat abs or a defined abs.  I just want abs that don’t puff out when I kneel down or sit or bend over. (Maybe the danish I had after my brick workout today wasn’t such a good idea after all!) I want skinny, defined biceps. (Maybe I should actually add some arm workouts to the mix?!)  I NEED to lower my body fat percentage.  Proof is in the pictures.

A continuous work in progress.  (Man my boys are handsome!)


About spinningitall

Join me as I try to spin it all; work, family, exercise, healthy living, and healthy eating. Perhaps we can learn together. Hilarity is certain to be involved.
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2 Responses to Body image

  1. Angie R says:

    You are a rock-star-do-it-all-awesome-mom-wife-nurse! You’re stuck on “see” when what’s really important is “feel.” It may help to know that when you come to mind by those you’ve affected, not one person will think “muffin top,” but instead we all think of all the positive ways you have impacted others. You make the world a better place on a daily basis! That’s what will be your legacy, not the average-everyday aspects of your well-used body. Direct your thoughts to the positive parts, and look yourself in the eye and say it aloud, everyday. And believe it!

  2. Thanks Angie! 🙂

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